Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Defiance against hoverers...Florence follow-up

*** This is a follow up post to my Florence, Italy post.  If you haven't already, you should read that one first ****

While in Florence, we visited a restaurant in Piazza San Spirito that while the food was delicious, the toilets provided a hilarious problem solving opportunity.  There was a hydraulic lift on the seat, to put the seat up.

This can be interpreted in one of two ways....

  1. Its helping the ladies out by forcing the seat up so the men don't have to lift it and don't pee on the seat.
  2. Its forcing women not to hover

The Challenge: To Hover or not hover, that is the question

Action shot of the seat flinging back up automatically
It's a well known fact (to women), that you are not supposed to sit on a public toilet seat.  It dates back to when we were in grammar school and were told we could catch diseases from the seat, get pregnant, or whatever.  Whatever the reason, which we've all forgotten by now, doesn't matter. Its been ingrained inside our heads, to NEVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SIT ON THE TOILET SEAT TO PEE IN PUBLIC.

As adults, we know that its because ladies' stream isn't exactly straight and inevitably, you will sit in someone else's splatter which is beyond gross.  If men are pigs, women are the entire pig farm.  They are farm animals in public restrooms, for real.

These seats automatically sprang up to the "boy peeing" position.  So, you had 2 choices...

A. Sit on the seat (Oh, hell no)
B. Touch the seat to hold it down (Oh, fuck no)

After clumsily pulling the seat down using the toe of my shoe twice, I realized that I was no match for the ingenuity of this restaurant owner when it sprang back up. What to do? What to do? 

10 sheets of single-ply to hold the seat down and hover.  Success. Then, I sang Happy Birthday* the full two times while washing my hands to make sure every possible section of my hands were free of germs. (*they now tell children to sing the Happy Birthday song while washing their hands to make sure they are thoroughly clean)

Next Steps:
Because I am an evil bitch, I encouraged the other ladies at dinner to go and use the restroom citing that it was hilarious and leaving out the bit about it challenging every bit of bathroom etiquette you have ever known to be true.  ha ha ha.  I wonder if they sat, hovered or abstained???

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