Wilson's Prom, Australia

For those of you that think I just drink and party all day, every day, I have created this post about Wilson's Promontory.  Wilson's Prom, or "the prom" as locals like to call it, is an amazing National Park in the southern most tip of Victoria, Australia.

My pilot, Andrew!

If the ocean hadn't risen to turn Tasmania into an island, the Prom would have extended all the way to Tasmania.

 

The car ride down to the southern coast from Melbourne is approximately 3 hours.  I can’t really tell you what it looks like because I am the worst navigator ever and slept a large portion of the way.  However, we did see a bunch of animals while driving including kangaroos, echidna, cows, birds and sheep. 

Echidna look like porcupines with shorter quills.  I'm pretty sure they can't throw quills like a porcupine, but I didn't get close enough to find out.

And, I did manage to wake up in time to see these beautiful landscapes!

 

Our first stop down The Prom was Squeaky Beach. It was named such because the sand has quartz in it and it squeaks when you walk on it.  (South Africans refer to it as “barking sand”.) The sand was super white and powdery and created the perfect bed for a nap.  You had to walk through a rainforest to get there and the beach was lined with giant boulders which helped shield the beach from the wind.

  

 

We decided to just roll the dice for lodging and googled hostels once we arrived.  When we rolled up to the hostel, we were told that it was full.  But that he would give us a 2 bedroom apartment for the same rate.  The apartment was clean and no one came to occupy the second room so we had it all to ourselves!  The hostel looked similar to a cranberry colored Bates Hotel, so we were very glad to have gotten to stay in the vacation apartments next door.

We arrived around 7:30 and decided to go to the local pub to watch the Australian Open tennis matches.  Poor Andrew was forced into 3 days of live tennis and now I was forcing him into tennis on TV.  This pub, however, was actually a hotel bar that also doubled as a senior center.  Seriously!  They had seniors' menu prices (which we were not eligible to elect) and you had to go up to the window and order your food despite there being waitresses all around.  There was no salt in any of the meals, clearly catering to a sodium-conscious crowd and there was some kind of PTA meeting happening at the table behind us.  It was all very odd, but surprisingly our food was actually really good.

The next morning, Andrew packed us a lunch (he will make someone an amazing house husband some day) and we decided to go climb Mt. Oberon.  Mt. Oberon is 557m high.  I realize that its not that high, but its still a mountain and the view was spectacular.  As a reward for our immense bravery and physical aptitude, we were both allotted cookies at the top.  

 

 

Amazing view from the top of a mountain

Andrew testing the Gods

Have a cookie, you earned it!

Our mountain climb only took about 2 hours, so we decided to do a bush walk to supplement our afternoon of hiking and adventure.  The first half of our bush walk was filled with persistent flies, hundreds of kangaroos and emus.  However, the second half was a little tame.  In fact, we didn't see anything for the third quarter of the walk, then we saw this weird snake-lizard hybrid.  It wasn't a snake and hadn't yet mutated into a lizard.  It had a long snake body, but it had 4 legs.  However, those legs didn't have any elbow joints so it couldn't really move fast.

Snake-Lizard Hybrid

Kangaroos in the bush

Emus

Putting the safari scope to work!

THAT was the big thrill of our walk back through the bush?  It was... until a giant snake crept up next to me.  That's right, a 4-5 foot long black snake with a lime green belly was sitting (do they sit?) just to my left. I squeaked a little when I saw it which prompted it to get up in a python pose then quickly turned and slithered away.  Thankfully Andrew saw it as well and he went after it trying to get a better look.  Fortunately, that snake did not have legs and could slither fast because I'm pretty sure he would have attacked Andrew and I would have been an asshole for leaving him dead in the bush.

When we got home, we googled "black snake, green belly, Australia" and nothing came up.  There is a black snake with a yellow belly (Northern Ringneck Snake), but it says those are only 2 feet long and this one was at least 4 feet.  Since I was too busy freaking out like a girl, I did not get a photo of Andrews would-be murderer.

On the way home, we hit up a small coastal city called Mornington.  Pretty amazing!

 

 

This was a pretty rad 2-day trip. We hiked about 15,000 steps (according to my Australian Open pedometer) which is approximately 5 miles. It cost us less than $150 with lodging, gas, a rental car and food.  Boom!

Byron Bay, New South Wales, Australia

I went to Byron Bay to meet up with a friend that I had met last year and to get a little surfing in.  There were a couple of hiccups along the way, but all produced spectacular serendipity.

I met my friend in Byron and we spent the first night at an amazing bar called The Rails.  This was clearly a local bar. It was a gem just outside of town so it was filled with local hippies and experienced vacationers looking for a good time.

Em an Tony at The Rails

Tony and the owner, Tom

Friday night, there was an incredible band playing.  The lead singer was both an artist and a performer having painted the mural behind the stage earlier in the year (which the owner, Tom, was very proud of).  His singing was entertaining, although no where near the talent required for a record deal (or reality television even). However, what mediocrity his vocals provided were blown away by his enthusiasm, passion, outfits and on-stage accompaniment. He had a singing dog, an amazing band, several wardrobe changes and burlesque dancers!

Burlesque accompaniment

Singing dog

It was a fun night.  We ended up leaving around midnight when they closed and woke up early to surf. I have forgotten that my ability to surf a long board falls incredibly short of my perception of skill.  (Plus, I had to convert from "regular" to "goofy" stance after my foot surgery and I am even worse than I was before the surgery.) So, when you put a short board (5'10) in my hands (which I have never surfed), I am a disaster.  I did not stand once. I ate shit about 100 times and finally called it quits after some little asshole dropped in on me and I took a board in the ear…(which is still bruised a week later).  There are no photos of my epic fail that day….sorry.

However, Tony did teach me to duck dive.  I have never duck dived since I "surf" long boards. (I am using surf loosely, by the way).  It's actually kind of fun.  And by "kind of fun", I mean its way better than holding on tight and preparing to get crushed by giant waves.

There was a misunderstanding with lodging, so I spent the last 2 nights of my Byron Bay trip in a hostel, The Arts Factory (http://nomadsworld.com/arts-factory/).  I was sketched out at first, but it turned out to be AMAZING!  There were giant lizards everywhere - just hanging out, eavesdropping on all the backpackers.  They were probably plotting their world takeover, but they are pretty lazy and couldn't pull it together while I was there, at least.

  

Prior to moving into the hostel, we had to search around to 3-4 hostels before we found space.  Luckily, The Arts Factory had 1 bed left….IN A TEE PEE.  That's right I slept in a fucking tee pee.  HILARIOUS.  I thought I would be totally skeeved out, but it was actually totally fine.  It wasn't too hot at night, it was super clean and there were lockers under the bed big enough for me to fit both backpacks in.

My Tee pee!

Inside of the tee pee.  10 bed, mixed room.

Within 20 minutes of being there, I met some pretty cool chicks that I went to the outdoor market with and shared a few drinks at the beach house.

Em, Miriam, Ally and Charlie by day

Miram, Ally, Charlie and I by night

That night, Sneaky Sound System was playing at the Beach House so we paid $20 cover to check her out and she was super rad.  First of all, she was a very pretty, very wacky black girl with a super blond picked-out mop top.  I loved her hair!!!  She was wearing a Cheshire Cat body suit and was singing atop electronic music.  She kind of reminded me of an Erykah Badu - Nikki Minaj hybrid. I'm not a huge electro fan, but I am when there are words to it - which there were.  It was super fun and super crowded, but hot as shit.

Sneaky Sound System

Another amazing surprise in Byron was my new NYE friend, Nat, coming in.  Apparently, her and her friend decided to take a bus down to Byron for the weekend and I got some quality time in with her. 

Nat and Em…. amazing impromptu meet up!

The Arts Factory was really cool, and clean.  It catered to backpackers, obviously and had really cool themes throughout. It was located next to a brewery and had a pool, laundry room, swamp and kitchen.  The one downside was that they gave 2 instructional classes on how to play the drums and the didgeridoo.  Fucking kill me now, it was so annoying.

OMG kill me now…this drum circle and the didgeridoo circles make me want to punch a hippy

The second day in Byron, I had to check out of the tee pee because it was booked and into a 6-bed girls dorm.  Unfortunately, check out was at 10am and check in was at 2PM, so Charlie and I decided to go take surf lessons at Lennox Beach through MojoSurf (http://www.mojosurf.com/products/byron_bay_surf_school).  This was kickass for 4 reasons:

1. They had long boards (8' foamies) for us to surf on
2. Charlie didn't have reservations and still got a spot with pure luck and generosity of the staff (I imagine it was because she is so pretty and wore bright red lipstick surfing)
3. We met Rachel and Alun, who were rad as shit.
4. I actually got to surf.  I probably caught 10 waves.

When we returned, I checked in and went to the 6-bed dorm and there were already people in it, so I went back to reception and this amazing guy, Jasper, hooked me up with a PRIVATE ROOM over looking the swamp!

What?  Pimp ass private room!

I was actually sorry to leave a day earlier than my new friends but I am looking forward to meeting Rosie in Sydney...

Ringing in the New Year: Queensland, Australia

Scene of the crime: Broadbeach, Queensland, Australia

We had hoped to go up to Brisbane for New Years but the tickets for the party all of our friends were going to were already sold out.  Instead, Lance found a party for us at Alto. Lance, Owen, Tim, Bianca, Nat and I had a fun night of unlimited drinks, food and fireworks in Broadbeach.  At midnight, there were some pretty good fireworks over the water which closed off the evening nicely.  We ended up taking the free public bus home, which was very crowded, but in the end a lot easier than waiting in queue for a $50 maxicab.

Dress party!

Roommates!

Em and Bianca

Em, Bianca and Nat at midnight fireworks

First duck lip selfie of the new year!  Andy, this is for you!

Owen looks like he's having a good time despite getting faceraped by Lance

New Years Day, I was a total wasteoid.  We layed on the couch all day and watched the entire first season of American Horror Story and I was introduced to a horrible British television show called Geordie Shore.  It makes the cast of Jersey shore look classy, pretty and well behaved.  These idiots piss and shat themselves on the regular and they actually show them humping...its vile and I feel dumber having been exposed to it. (I was going to post a link, but I don't want to support this trash)

January 2 was my half birthday! We didn’t really celebrate it, but we were super active that day (which almost makes up for how sluggish we were on Jan 1). Nat, Bianca and I took a girls trip to Springbrook which was an amazing 5K hike through rain forest, caves and waterfalls.  On the way there, we stopped at a haunted house.  Since we had just finished American Horror Story, we had to go inside.

"Haunted House"

Springbrook National Park was super fun. It has 2 trails, a 5K and a 17k.  Fortunately, (because I am a fat, lazy American) the 17K trail was closed and we were forced to take the shorter hike.

The obligatory "jump" shot

The obligatory "missed jump" shot

Em and Bianca

Pretty girl, pretty view

Blue Tongued Lizard

Even the trees try to hurt you in Australia

Nat, getting her fitness on

Nice "waterfall" Bianca.  Not impressed :)

Em and Nat in a hollow tree…Don't worry, there's nothing in here but snakes...

and drop spiders….ah! 

When I run…. I run so fast I'm blurry.

Evidently, this waterfall is usually gushing…today, not so much.

Lance and I capped off the daylight with an hour of Stand-Up Paddle and then the four of us went to Justin Lane for Pizza.

It was a lovely way to cap off a great visit filled with slightly too much booze, but the perfect amount of laughter, friendship and family time.  Thank you for being such amazing hosts.  Can't wait to host you guys for an American road trip next November…. LA, Vegas, Nashville, Chicago, Detroit, New York….it will be epic.  We should consider a camper van!