Christine in Paris: Part 2

Reminder of the rules....

1. Be Safe

2. You have to Skype or Facetime at least once a day

3. Don't break the camera.

What he forgot to include was...

1. Don't get in a car with strangers at 3am

2. Don't get wasted on Dom Perignon and dance on a table

3. Don't get drunk and sleep on the floor in your brand new party dress...

Day 3.1: Epic Fail....or was it???

Day 3 Agenda:

1. Catacombs

2. Louvre

3. Go out to a Bar

We had the best of intentions, we really did.  After breakfast, we hopped on the train and went South of the Jardin du Luxembourg to the Catacombs to labrynth through skulls and bones, however, when we got there, there was a queue around the block.  I skipped to the front and asked how long they had been waiting and they said 2 hours.  OH HELL NO.  It was already 2PM and the last tour was at 4PM. Could you imagine if we waited in that queue for 2 hours and then couldn't go through?  Not happening. So, we took a picture of our attempt and vowed to come back the following day right when it opened at 10am, pinky swear.

So, that was dumb.  Strike 1.  We hopped back on the train and decided to go to the Louvre.  I convinced Christine to stop into the Centre Pompidou because there were some cool shops there that I wanted to show her (see Dear Future Husband post) and maybe we could get a drink at my favorite little writing spot.

The vibe just wasn't what it had been the 2 previous times so we just grabbed soft drinks while there and played a couple games of Uno.  Christine had a coke that was mediocre at best (not enough carbonation) and I finally tried the Kicoola.  Now, I thought it would kiwi syrup in a Perrier, however, it was kiwi syrup in coke.  BARF.  Plus, I lost in Uno, WTF? Ugh...Strike 2

Next stop was the cute little housewares store that had my amazing wall treatment....no, it didn't.  They fucking took it down, so basically we walked 1.5KM out of our way for nothing.  ARGH!  Strike 3.

Oh, well, right?  We decided to walk to Angelina to get breakfast.  But, I love getting lost in Paris, so I lead her down a street I had never been but was in the direction of where were going anyway.  And that's when we found our hidden gem for the day... Jones+Jones dress shop.  They had the most amazing a line dresses in the window and we decided that after 3 strikes we deserved a fashion show shopping session.  These dresses were super cute and looked fairly expensive, however once we got in there, we found that they were only 80 euros each! ($110)!!  Unheard of!  So, we tried them ALL on.

Fashion Show!!!

Um, hilarious, I look like a tennis player.... are they all this short???

Twinsies..... seriously, are they all this short???

I loved this one.  I chose it because it was kind of ugly on the hanger, but then it ended up looking awesome on.  It was very 1950's except it was short, short, short.  In fact, they were all short, short, short on me.  Like I mean obscenely short, if I bent over, even slightly, all of my goodies were on display....sorry christine....and to think Susan was concerned about you seeing me in my underwear...LOL.

Are we human or are we dancers??

ballerina!

Naughty, see through top, nice bra!

Too bad I don't clean houses, I'd have the perfect outfit.

Winner!  Since Christine is a shorty, these dress were all appropriate length for her and they were not obscene.  So, she bought this one!!!! (The first one she tried on, actually)

Kudos to Jones+Jones for :
1. Making amazing affordable dresses
2. Having amazing artwork in the studio
3. Letting us have a fashion show and take photos!

I actually might have bought one of these if I wasn't homeless and unemployed.

After our amazing shopping trip, we headed to Angelina for a late lunch which was delicious and filling then headed to the Louvre.  On the way there, inside the Louvre Carousel, we found a cute jewelry shop called Agatha, where we bought matching necklaces.  30 minutes later, we were finally going into the museum.  However, it closed at 5:30, not 7:30 so we couldn't get in.  It was a sign from the Gods that we should go home...

Day 3.2: "Who's life am I living right now??"

What started out as a day of epic fails wound up being THE MOST FUN DAY I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE.  It is a super bold statement and it was formerly held by Gay Pride in Brussels, Belgium (Sorry Jette, Silvia and Fanny), but OMG did we have the best night ever!

We started off in our fancy clothes.  Christine in her new party dress and I in my semi-slutty jersey nightclub dress (my only suitable nightclub dress in my backpack).  We went to a meet-up organized by Aurelie at an Indian-Thai fusion place.  The company was spectacular, the wine was flowing and the food was just so so.  Around 10:30, we headed out to the Opera House for a party outdoors where we were greeted with a huge queue (as always), great music and bottle service paid for by someone else. We were super fortunate to be seated in the VIP area because the rest of the place was so crowded it was inevitable that you would either get spilled on, separated from the group or overrun by people fascinated by the American accent.

Myth about Paris: Parisians don't hate Americans.  They actually like the American accent.  If you try a little French or are at a club or a bar (social setting) and not doing sight seeing, they are super friendly - almost too much so.

Opera House Pre-Party

We met up with some of Aurelie's friends, Jean Baptiste and Claudio, on the steps of the Opera House then proceeded inside where the DJ was spinning a mixture of West Coast rap, classic rock and top 40 pop.

When Snoop came on, Christine, Owen (from Cali, pictured left) and I all let out a collective, "awe shit" or "oh no you didn't" or some other semi-ghetto slang term to which Aurelie responded with an incorrect throw of the West Coast Gang Sign.  The following 5 minutes were met with boastful laughter as Christine and I showed her how to appropriately throw a "West Coast" hand gesture and instruct her that it should also be accompanied by a fish-lipped stank face as well.

wrong wrong wrong....

there you go, gurl...

Oh no they di'n't....

TIme for a photo....Aurelie, get your hair under control...Where's Christine?

A Voila!  There she is!

The night got creepy when too many drinks were served and some folks got out of hand so Mickael, Marc and Stephan rescued us and took us to Bagatelle. When it was first suggested, I got a bit snotty and was like, "Ew, I hate Bagatelle.  Its too far away, the music is bad, there are too many people and it reminds me of a douchy LA club with worse music and shitty people." Mickael insisted the music was better on Saturdays and that we would have fun, so we conceded....and thank God we did...

Stephan was driving.  He rolled up in a BMW convertible and we all hopped in...he was fine to drive from a sober perspective, however, he is the craziest driver on the planet.  He was whipping in and out of traffic on the Champs Elysees at 60mph and cornered the Arc de Triomphe like he was on rails! This had the potential of violating rule #1 (Be Safe).  In fact, Christine freaked out a little bit claiming that she was sure she was breaking rule #1, but I insisted that she was technically totally safe until something bad happened, so she was in the clear.  

I was sitting behind Stephan and put on my seatbelt, poor Christine got stuck in the middle between Marc and I, on a hard center console, not even a seat, so there was no lap belt.  Since I am an amazing friend, I totally put my arm across her like a seatbelt while we were ducking and weaving in traffic....LOL.  

For the record, I still stand by the fact that there were no official rules violated.  We just added excitement to the adventure with a little reckless abandonment....

This is how fast we raced around the Arc de Triomphe (source: http://arc-de-triomphe.monuments-nationaux.fr/)

When we arrived, there was a long queue, but we didn't wait in it.  And that's when it happened.  The stars aligned and the music Gods met with the good-fortune Gods and a beautiful evening was born. They were playing 90's rap all night long! We had table service away from the riff-raff and started the second half of our night with 2 bottles of Dom Perignon, Montel Jordan, and the best company ever. Christine, Mickael, Marc, Stephan and I danced the night away until 4:30 in the morning.  At some point another bottle of Dom and a bottle of Belvedere vodka came out and the rest of the night was a blur.

Here's what we remember...

1. Each bottle came out with a sparkler and Christine waved it like she was leading a marching band

2. CHRISTINE WALTHER CAN RAP, and did so to EVERY song played that night.

3. Stephan is a dancing fool.  His hat was traded around over and over for hours of amazing photo opportunities.

4. Mickael, Marc and Stephan are amazing company.  They are the perfect mix of protective and fun. They keep away the creepers but dance, dance, dance and they don't try to freak up on you.  They are super aware and had waters in our hands when they saw the Dom getting the better of us.

5. The night ended with Whitney Houston (and every other douchebag in the club) singing I Will Always Love You - seriously, they played almost the whole song until it burst into a techno beat 3 minutes in....

6. Christine, who was dancing on the table looked down on me and yelled, "Who's life am I living right now?!"  To which I replied, "Mine.  Welcome!!!"

Dom Perignon? Oui!

Dancing on the table?

Christine Rapping... Marc looks unimpressed...although I was.

More Dom, More Dom!

This happened.

Over-served.

wasted. happy. goodnight.

If only the morning had felt as good as the night before.  Someone passed out on the floor of my apartment in their new party dress....I'm not telling who.  But, lets just say the 9:30 alarm that was set for the Catacombs was a rude awakening for all.

Part 3: The aftermath to come....

Christine invades Paris: Part 1

My good friend, Christine invaded Paris last week and was it ever epic.  Christine's husband, Chris gave her a hall pass for 5 days to come "sight see" in Paris while he braved Quinn, the 16 month old on his own.  Super Rad!  Christine was bid bon voyage with 3 simple rules that she had to follow...

1. Be Safe
2. You have to Skype or Facetime at least once a day
3. Don't break the camera.

What he forgot to include was...
1. Don't get in a car with strangers at 3am
2. Don't get wasted on Dom Perignon and dance on a table
3. Don't get drunk and sleep on the floor in your brand new party dress...

Day 1: Quick sightseeing + Jet lag

Obviously, on day 1 in Paris, everyone drops likes a sack of potatoes.  They are super exciting having come off the plane and arriving in a new city and have ambitions of sightseeing as big as the Eiffel Tower, then crash at 8pm.  Christine was no different.

So, after a 2 hour trek from the airport to my place on 3 metro lines, she was obviously ready to freshen up and hit the road to see the sights.  We started off with mandatory crepes at the Eiffel Tower, of course, since it was only 300 meters away.  The absolute best view of the Eiffel Tower is between the buildings at the Trocadero, so I took Christine the long way (400 meters) to view the Eiffel Tower in all her glory.

And, to my surprise the Trocadero was displaying a magnificent water show. I have never seen the fountains do this before and it was incredible.  The depth of the streams and the number of fountains was amazing.  As in one of my previous posts, there were children playing in the Trocadero fountain pools, but it seemed less gross today since the water wasn't stagnant and visibly mossy.

Trocadero Fountains, Paris, France

Kids were going right under the jets and getting pummeled by the large sprays...hilarious.

 Then, Christine and I got her the mandatory crepes and I taught her how to order a crepe in French, although, with all the decadent desserts we had in Paris, she never got the chance to order another one...
"ju vous dre un crepe avec nutella a frais sivousplais" I don't know French, so that is probably spelled totally wrong....but it works when you're talking to the crepe vendor!

CREPES!!!!

Next up was a walk along the Seine. I wasn't sure how tired Christine would be so I thought I'd show her the sights on a mini walking tour.  We walked up the Seine to the Grand Palace, then over to the Jardin de Tuileries near the Louvre...

Just chillin on the left bank

Relaxin in the Jardin de Tuileries

Hey look at the Louvre ferris wheel...

 We had high hopes of making it all the way to Notre Dame, but it had been a long day so I took her to the Love Lock bridge and we turned back.

View from the Love Lock bridge

 No, we did not put a lock on the bridge...however, I thought about putting one on there for the DIRECTV Circular.  It did build our friendship, but I'm not sure I wanted to be locked to the Circular forever with anything other than just fond memories.

Love Lock bridge

While Christine was sleeping, I jetted out on the town to an Electro party with Aurelie and her Canadian friend, Caroline.  What a night...

Caroline, Aurelie, Emily

 Aurelie suggested that we should issue challenges for each of us to complete before the night was over.  Best. Idea. Ever!

Emily's Challenge: Find a guy wearing a tie, get him to take it off and let you put it on and get a photo.
Caroline's Challenge: Find a guy to buy you a free drink.  Emily's revision: THREE FREE DRINKS...
Aurelie's Challenge: Slow dance (to techno) with an Asian (this was incredibly difficult because there were only 3 Asians in the entire club and one was making out with another girl) Revised challenge: You need to dance with 3 different types of men before the nights through... a black guy, an Asian and a foreigner (which meant she had to chat up several to find out if they were French)

Game on, Bitches!

Success!

 Although I was the first to complete the challenge, it was actually hard.  By that time in the night, there were no men left in ties.  So, I had to go around to men wearing suits and ask if they had ties.  Keep in mind, I don't speak FRENCH.  So, when I walked up to them and said "Vous crevette??" and made a tie gesture they all looked at me funny.  I was asking everyone if they had shrimp.  The correct word is Cravate, oops....same same.

But, whatever, I still got it done!

Caroline's challenge was actually quite difficult since the drinks were 12 Euros each.  That was an expensive round....not for us!  Cheers!

Success! Cheers!

How many free drinks did you get us???

 Aurelie's challenge was quite difficult.  Finding one of the 3 Asian men in this bar with no lights was a feat in itself.

Who me???

Success!

I was supposed to be home at 12:30 to take Christine to the Eiffel Tower at night to watch it twinkle but I missed the last show at 1:00 because my train was delayed.  We played rummy for a bit and headed to bed.

Day 2: Seeing the sights!

We had an aggressive agenda on day 2.
1. Arc de Triomphe
2. Go to the Beach
3. Notre Dame
4. Jardin du Luxembourg

First up, the Arc du Triomphe.  Prior to coming to Paris this was one of my favorite things.  Now, its still beautiful, but its really just a directional landmark for me and also provides a very fond memory for the crazy drivers in Paris since I have so many other fond memories of Paris.

Next up, the beach.  Every year for a month or so, Paris imports in sand to the right bank of the Seine and Paris Plages begins.  There are volleyball tournaments and several other activities all around town.  So, naturally when I heard about this, I had to go. I miss the beach so much.

Seriously?  This is the beach?  It looks like a sandbox.  And, it was only for about 50 meters.  So, so sad.  But we indulged anyway.

Got to wear our swimsuits in Paris

Toes in the sand...in Paris

Selfie!

The sand is this way...

 Well, that was kind of disappointing....granted, its a nice novelty for the locals, but I think my expectations were waaaaaay to high.

Next up, Notre Dame.  I am totally not religious in any way, but I can absolutely appreciate the beauty of this Gothic styled masterpiece.  We actually got to Notre Dame just in time for an English walking tour which provided some really rad stories of the preservation of the limestone, the carvings and sculptures on the exterior and the viewpoint of good vs. evil in general.

Inside: Notre Dame is so light because at the time it was built, they weren't convinced that the Gothic style was structurally sound, so they added beams on either side of the center row to provide support - which block the light from the stained glass windows.

Inside Notre Dame

This stained glass window is actually 80-90% original glass.  The window opposite of it was severely damaged during the French Revolution and during the reconstruction of the feature, they tilted it sideways and its supported by an iron cross worked into the design.

People often think that the gargoyles on the side of Notre Dame are to ward off evil spirits, however, they actually have a functional purpose.  Within many of the Gargoyles, there are drain spouts that push the runoff water away from Notre Dame because the water, over time, erodes the limestone.

 Also, when it rains heavily, the water pouring out of the gargoyle's mouths and spouts looks like the church is expelling evil...

Approximately 500 spiral stairs up to the top!

A-mazing!

Panoramic view of the top of Notre Dame

Next up, I had to take Christine to my favorite place in Paris, the Jardin du Luxembourg.  We asked some guy to take a photo for us and this is what we got....asshole.

Then he started doing some artistic photo shoot.  Turning the camera sideways and snapping like 5 pictures.  Its an Iphone bro, not a cannon, cut it out.

Picnic in the park.  Hummus, Tabouli, good friends...done.

Dear future husband, if I ever come back to France, you should plan a weekly picnic in this park or we will never ever work out, that's your magic sauce....just sayin...

This will never EVER get old

Hmmm...what's for dinner?  We're not super hungry since we had a picnic at 7:30.  How about we go to the Trocadero and see the Eiffel Tower all lit up, have some wine and a light dinner.

Super Stinky cheese for dinner!  Yes Please!

Club fare

Ummmmm food trucks inside the clubs in Paris?? Yes please....

Last night's hotdog challenge

Every time I go out with Aurelie, we issue challenges while drinking. Last night, she had to find a guy at the club eating a hotdog and get him to give her a bite... Success!