Welcome to Frankfurt, Germany...or not...

So, God tried to kill Jette the day before I got to Frankfurt.  Apparently, she was walking home from work and there was a big windstorm on Monday.  Jette heard a crack crack sound and looked up to see a GIANT tree toppling over right toward her.  She hauled ass and ran out of the way, but an onlooker told her she was almost hit, “no shit.” 

Seriously, thank God she wasn’t wearing earbuds or she wouldn’t have heard the crack and known to run. 

Jette’s roommate, Tobi, who I love, collected a piece of the tree and told Jette it was her life tree and they needed to plant the branch.  So he got some soil and put the stick in it...good luck with that one, bro. It’s a stick. It doesn’t have roots.  LOL.  The gesture and thought was so cute though.  I love him.

How do I not have any photos of Tobi???

My last night in Berlin...

The evening started out a little gangsta and it was spectacular. In Berlin, the clubs don’t even open until 1 and go until dawn, so I went to Silvia’s house around 9 so we could grab a bite.  When I got there, she offered me a drink.  Gin and Tonic?  Eh, I don’t really like tonic, so I asked if she had any juice….so, yeah, I was totally sippin on gin and juice a la Snoop Dog at Silvi’s house. Next up, Döner Kabab for dinner.

Döner Dach is the best Döner Kabab in Berlin.  A Döner Kabab is a very traditional food in Berlin.  It’s basically a pita triangle filled with shaved chicken (gyro style), veggies, potatoes, a dill sauce, hot sauce, and lemon juice.  It was honestly the most amazing thing I’ve eaten in Berlin.

Silvia....killin' it.

Isn't it weird seeing me eat in a photo that is not a selfie?? I needed 2 hands for this.

Murdered it!

Guess who's in the clean plate club???  burp.

With a full stomach, we met up with Fanny, Kati and their friends for some drinks at a hipster bar in Fredrichshain called Habermeyer.  This bar was so cool.  All of the lights were red. It felt very much like a prohibition era Speakeasy.  

Fanny and Kati (my tennis partner). My iPod does not like the red lights....

Silvia

Silvia and I looking creepy in red

Kati and I making a date for South Africa

There were old pinball machines in the back and the DJ was literally spinning 45s and LPs from the 1940s-70s.  He would pick up a telephone to listen in on the next track that was about to play.  It was super retro and fit in perfectly with this bar.  Tunes like The Pink Panther, Secret Agent Man and the Jackson 5 set the mood to a very laid back chill scene.

They served lots of fun shots too. I don’t typically do shots, but we had a Mexican shot, (which was basically a Bloody Mary) and a sour shot that was unidentifiable, but delicious nonetheless.

Prost Fanny

Bottoms up, bitches...

After a couple gins and a couple shots and lazy oldies buzzing through my head, it was time for us to depart to the club. I’d heard amazing things about the Berlin club scene and it was my turn to jump right in.

We went to Suss War Gestern (Sweet was yesterday).  It was another one of Fanny and Silvia’s go-to spots.  There were 3 rooms of dancing, 2 electro, 1 80’s room in the basement.  Plus there were a couple chill out rooms with no music but were amply equipped with a bar and 1970’s mustard colored couches.

Ha, someone in our group was wearing a Dodgers hat. I have decided that anytime I see an LA hat in a bar, I will selfie with it as an homage to my peeps back home.

We started off in the chill room and quickly went into the 80’s room in the basement.  Unfortunately, the DJ down there sucked.  She was playing music that was too slow to dance to, but the room was filling up and it was nearly wall-to-wall people.  Had there been a fire, I would have been dead for sure.  What I can’t understand is why asshole next to me was smoking.  The room at 7 foot ceilings max and there were 100 people crammed into a 120 sf room Auschwitz style and his stupid ass was smoking.  There was very little air in the basement anyway and now he was poisoning the already mildew-filled room with his secondhand smoke.  My eyes were burning and the DJ was shit so we retreated back upstairs.  (And SHIT, the boys we were with gave up our seats in the chill area.)  So, into the Electro area we went.  The ceiling of this room was so trippy it was nauseating to look at. There was an LED board on the entire ceiling and fuchsia, pink and red lights chased each other throughout the room in rapid, darting movements.  I was mesmerized and decided I totally needed ecstasy or pot to make it tolerable, so I looked away.  I couldn’t stop. It was like crack. I sat down in a stool and chair danced while I stared at the addictive ceiling.  Then I made myself sick and got up and started bouncing to the electro music.

Obviously, these do not do the ceiling justice...

  

It’s really hard to listen to music without words for several hours.  I was spent.  I think I failed a little bit.  It was only 3AM.  I’ll have to come back to Berlin and try again.

When I got home around 3:30, I looked over to see if my Brazilian roommates were there, they weren’t.  So, I flicked on the light and a groan and an arm flailed up from the bunk above mine.  Oops, I guess I had a new roommate. I quickly turned off the light and crept into the room.  As an experienced traveler and late night lurker, I know the proper etiquette is to leave your PJ’s on your bed so you can quickly change without disturbing anyone.  I did and was asleep in 5 minutes.  My Brazilian roommates, however, did not get that memo.  They turned the light on around 4:15.  Our new roommate groaned, but they left the light on and started rooting around for their shit.  Then, an all out war started.  Bunk bed girl started yelling at them about the light, “You have roommates, you need to be respectful of others.”  Then they started yelling back, “It’s a hostel, get over it.”  The bickering continued for another 10 minutes or so during which I fell asleep with the pillow on my head. Good thing I can sleep through anything and chose a bottom bunk.  The light didn’t bother me and the pillow was sufficient at drowning out their bitching.  Bunk Bed girl was up at 8am to repack her shit and move out.  I slept in til 9:30 and was on my way to Frankfurt. 

Tennis in Berlin

So, I've officially played tennis in 3 countries now....

Fanny hooked me up with her friend Kati for a tennis date in Berlin.  Super fun!  I got to play on clay. 

Being unfamiliar with clay, it was a lovely surprise when the cute guy that was playing before us picked up the rake and cleared the court for us, then swept off the lines.  

Hilarious.  It turns out I love playing on clay, but I’m tentative because I have bad ankles and a history of breaking my feet while playing. But I loved it.  Kati was a great rally partner and we discussed possibly rendezvousing in South Africa in November to surf and play tennis.

I returned the favor for the 13 year olds playing after us.

Christine in Paris: Part 3 "The Aftermath"

Day 4 Agenda:
1. Try not to vomit
2. Catacombs
3. Louvre
4. Musee D' Orsay (Christine), Stencil workshop (Emily)
5. Louvre Ferris Wheel
6. Try not to die

OMFG, we seriously wanted to die.  We had committed to going to the Catacombs at 10am.  We left the house at 10am which was a miracle in itself after the previous night of drinking.  From what I remember, here is a recap of our alcohol consumption...

Shared 2 bottles of wine at dinner with 4 other people
Shared 2 magnum bottles of wine and 1 bottle of vodka at the Opera House with 6 other people
Shared 3 bottles of Dom Perignon and 1 bottle of Belvedere vodka at Bagatelle with 3 other people

We should be dead, or comatose at the very least.  We got home around 5:15 in the morning and were out of the house by 10am on a 25 minute train to Montparnasse.  When we got there, the queue was in the exact same spot it was the previous day, so I left Christine, the zombie, in line and ran over to the patisserie to get chocolate croissants and water...breakfast of champions.

I think I agreed not to post this photo, but no words could portray how miserable we were, this captures it perfectly.  Sorry Girl.

I'd like to think it was the croissants that did the trick, however, the queue was 2 hours long, so we also ran out for sandwiches and I ducked out of line for an hour to go to the train station and pickup prepaid tickets for the Louvre.  Christine was a trooper, once we got inside the Catacombs, we got our second wind and had a bunch of tom foolery fun in the the 2KM burial ground.

um, yeah, its totally weird that we're smiling in front of skulls, right?

 The catacombs were not just filled with skulls and bones, they were also filled with carvings and models, geological information about the age of the stone (50 million years), creepy corridors and stairwells.  These catacombs labrynth all over a 2km section of the Parisian underground.

Statue carved into the limestone cave wall

creepy staircase into a well

This shows the age of the different layers of limestone behind the sign....

The walls of the Catacombs were literally lined with skulls and bones for nearly a mile.  They said there were the remains of 80,000 people in there.  Most of them were plague victims, but there are also a lot of soldiers from the French Revolution, whose remains were relocated to the Catacombs.

One of many prayer benches to respect and observe your loved ones.

more bones...lots of bones

This one looks like it got a bullet through the brain!

sweet sweater, Christine!

Ok, one can only look at bones for too long.  Since, we failed at sightseeing the day prior, Christine and I had to conquer the Louvre and the D’Orsay today.

First, we walked around making up stories for a bunch of the paintings.  I mean, really, why would you paint a naked man on a horse with a sword and a hat?

Now, that's better isn't it???

Then we had to go see the Mona Lisa, because that’s what you do.  It was Mona Mahem.  Look at all of the idiots trying to get a picture of the damn Mona Lisa…

And look at Christine photo bombing this idiot….wait a minute…

We had so much fun making up stories for each of the paintings at the Louvre, we lost track of time.  3 hours later, we had to break for our second round of museums.

However, on the way, we needed to use the loo.  What?  There are only 2 bathrooms at the Louvre Carosel.  One you have to pay 1.50 Euros for.  So we did.  And, for the record, there is NOT colored toilet paper IN the stalls.  But there is a personal attendant for each stall that cleans it before and after you go.

 Dinner on Montmartre!

Frog Legs....when in France...

Crepe

Sea Bass

Christine's first frog leg!

Christine, licking the bones...

dainty....

Sacre Coeur all lit up...

Moulin Rouge!

Our last dinner in Paris was at Le Chalet des Iles in the Bois de Boulogne just outside Paris' city limits.  Its the place I've gone previously that you need to take a boat to get to.

Marie joined us at Le Chalet des Iles as well as about a dozen bees that kept interrupting us during our meal. It was so f’ed up.  The waiter actually grabbed my napkin off my lap to kill a bee on the table.  The man next to us murdered at least 4 and we quickly finished our (very grown up) 4 course meal and retreated inside into the “summer party”.

It was a summer party + the remnants of Irish wedding guests.  A lot of techno, a lot of weird dancers, some questionable clingy dudes and one creepy girl that wouldn’t stop trying to dance on us and we were out of there.

On Christine’s last morning in Paris, we decided to be SUPER touristy and have lunch atop the Eiffel Tower.  Its served picnic style and was delicious and affordable.

Christine looks so sad she's leaving...

picnic lunch...

 Merci and Au Revoir, Christine!

Paris misses you and I do too!